Kern
Kern
Kern (pronounced KURN) is the central setting of the world of The Silly Campaign and its subsequent volumes. The map is heavily stylized so your imagination can fill in the gaps. I don’t expect you to read this whole thing. Below is a list of the named locations, towns, cities, and nations of the world along with a brief description of what they are.
Location Summaries (Brief)
Anything you read about the below locations that isn’t explicitly stated I would like for you all to fill in with your imagination. Below is a brief summary of each named location listed in this document.
City of Ecil – Territory of the Valysirian Empire. Ecil has the world’s leading, extremely-prestigious magic college. They are also known for their musical compositions and galas.
Dragon’s Thumb Forest – The other source of wild magic in the world. Once used as a battleground in an ancient war involving the Oerlikon.
Vale’s Retreat – A small nation who are known for producing Crystal Ball films and shows.
Land’s End – A derelict old village where people outcast from the Valysirian Empire usually turn up.
Kingdom of Vanda – A proud, agrarian kingdom known for its scenic beauty and natural landscape features begins at the mountain range separating their lands from the Dragon’s Thumb forest in southern Valysir.
Kingdom of Ylvin – The primary elvish homeland scattered with majestic mountain peaks, ancient castles, and beautiful landscape.
Nation of Tharic – A democratic mountain nation under heavy political and economic pressure from Valysir due to their close proximity.
Northwestern Major Region
Far Country
A sprawling, untamed land of wildlife, vegetation, trees, cliffs, rivers, and mountains. The Far Country is an extremely wide sprawl of untamed forests in the northern end of the continent. It is filled with lush, bucolic rivers, plains, and waterfalls hidden from the exposure of the outside world thanks to the thick vegetation surrounding the area.
It is home to a whole ecosystem of different types of life, including the Oerlikon. Overlooking the entrance to the forest from the south is Mt. Gôl.
During the nighttime, the Far Country becomes a hostile environment of monsters and predators when all of the more tempered creatures are home, giving them the ability to stalk the night. The area is well-known for the variety of monsters and other bizarre creatures that may show up during the night. Some downplay the events of this forest as superstition.
Last ‘Stoppe Inn
A famous, moderately-sized inn located between the last cities/small towns of the western plains and the Far Country. The Last ‘Stoppe Inn is located between Arlen and Mt. Gôl, acting as the point of no return for adventurers traveling to the north of the continent. The Far Country is uninhabitable by normal means, so no buildings or cities can be constructed within. There are small settlements of fey creatures and other animals within, however.
Western Major Region
Arlen
Main Article: Arlen
A small, quaint town that prides itself on their agriculture and hard work.
Aestros
Main Article: Aestros
A robust nation-state whose economy is centered around the fabrication and production of natural resources. They are the world’s foremost exporters of quality steel.
Amberwell
Main Article: Amberwell
A smallish town situated right in the narrowest part of the western plains just before crossing over into the Feller Isles.
West Feller Isles
Goblin Settlement
Main Article: Goblin Settlement
An abandoned mine claimed by the largest group of goblins as their permanent home.
Gleaming Forest
Resting between the Goblin Settlement and the bustling nation of Lyre is the Gleaming Forest. It is a relatively small, but dense and pronounced area of lush vegetation and critters. Alongside the Dragon’s Thumb Forest, it is one of two known and consistent sources of wild magic. While there is a main highway through the forest, it is surprisingly easy to become lost, and even the more seasoned adventurers of Kern are prone to getting turned around in it. Bands of thieves are often reported roaming the highways searching for naive passers-by.
Lyre
Main Article: Lyre
The western world’s metropolis. Lyre is a major country of the West Feller Isles.
Gleam
Main Article: Gleam
A satellite state of Lyre. Has a decent-but-not-prestigious magic college.
Lochfog
Main Article: Lochfog
A tourist trap town whose economy and culture revolve around a massive, amazingly-beautiful lake.
Balaris
Main Article: Balaris
An unassuming, curmudgeonly town and their fishing reserve who are the world’s #1 exporters of fresh fish.
East Feller Isles
Haxby
Main Article: Haxby
A popular vacation spot full of casinos, bars, and other related entertainment. Also a major exporter of grain and other related crops.
Scotchwood
Main Article: Scotchwood
A de facto dwarven-ethnostate who are the world’s largest exporters of natural resources from their mines. They have a corporatist government that uses private militias to govern the area.
Fillmore
Main Article: Fillmore
A major world exporter of tobacco and other agricultural products, but also notably the only fishing rivals of Balaris.
Southwestern Major Region
Democratic Peoples’ Republic of Glaggleland
Main Article: Democratic Peoples' Republic of Glaggleland
An autocratic dictatorship from which no visitor has ever returned.
Clank
Main Article: Clank
A desolate, hard-boiled desert town known for their simple living and illegal activities.
The Hot Pot
Main Article: The Hot Pot
Recently-reopened coliseum that hosts all kinds of competitions, including the world’s most renowned fighting tournaments.
Southern Major Region
Straetos
Main Article: Straetos
One of the biggest nations in the world. It is a gigantic plateau lifted up a mile high out of the ocean. It is inhabited mainly by Straetofolk, a race of people who are made of clouds.
Southeast Major Region
Lodistan
Main Article: Lodistan
A smallish dictatorship that acts as the world’s authority on and foremost exporter of tobacco.
Xantoh’s Watch
Main Article: Xantoh's Watch
An anarchist trading headquarters for all things illegal and contraband.
Eastern Major Region
Valysir
Main Article: Valysir
The metropole of the Valysirian Empire. The Keep is the most populous area in the world and is the eastern world’s metropolis. It is home to the international headquarters of Magicorp.
Ecil
Main Article: Ecil
Territory of the Valysirian Empire. Ecil has the world’s leading, extremely-prestigious magic college. They are also known for their musical compositions and galas.
Dragon's Thumb Forest
Like the Gleaming Forest, Dragon’s Thumb is the only other known, consistent source of wild magic in the world. It is a forest that grew in the ruins of a battleground torn asunder by the Oerlikon when they warred with the first great necromancer one thousand years ago.
The forest is full of castle ruins, caves, cliffs, and waterfalls the whole way through. There is a highway between Valysir and Ecil, but it is a very seedy place where crime rates are high, usually related to the interception of goods on their way between the two cities.
Vale’s Retreat
Main Article: Vale's Retreat
A major island territory under under the control of the Valysirian Empire and Magicorp.
Land’s End
A derelict old village nestled in the foreground of the mountain range beyond. All of the most-bizarre outcasts and rejects of the world may at some point end up here. Some refer to it as a ghost town.
North
Kingdom of Vanda
Marketplace and Trade. Vanda’s primary trades are masonry, mining, lumber production, and agriculture. Another noteworthy source of income to the country is the canal located on its northwestern border, which it shares by written agreement with Ylvin.
Population Size. Vanda has a population of roughly a million-strong.
Population Density. Vanda’s immense territory lets their citizens spread out fairly generously, so all different types of housing plans are viable in this nation.
Demonym. ‘Vandians’
Population Demographics. Humans and half-elves make up the basic majority of the population, followed by elves, dwarves, and halfings in equal numbers, then anthropomorphic animals, and finally miscellaneous creatures.
Government. Vanda is a monarchy ruled by an austere, but righteous king. His rule has been put to the test because of the increasing pressure from Valysir and Magicorp threatening to invade them, and the ongoing war between the two countries is a major source of geopolitical conflict and tension. Magicorp wants to take the canal for itself at all costs.
Culture. Vandians are generally extremely proud of their country and heritage, and for the most part, they have a well-liked king. He can be viewed as rash and sometimes strict, but he is decidedly not an evil man. He is especially popular due to being one of the few world leaders who sees through Richardson’s lies.
Kingdom of Ylvin
Marketplace and Trade. Ylvin relies on the proceeds from their canal which they share with Vanda to supplement the income they make from mining and lumber production. Magicorp fights tirelessly to acquire these industries from them, but the particularly business-savvy elven entrepreneurs have given him a challenge for once in his life.
Population Size. Ylvin’s population is roughly 750,000.
Population Density. Like Vanda and Tharic, Ylvin has a considerable amount of land with which to spread out their settlements and towns, allowing for all different kinds of housing.
Demonym. ‘Ylvians’
Population Demographics. Ylvin is an elf and half-elven majority state; after them, halflings, then humans, and then everyone else.
Government. Ylvin is a matriarchal society ruled by a queen. She and Vanda’s king are sometimes rivals, sometimes good neighbors, and the two countries generally get along nicely for their land arrangement. Both members of the royalty are committed to simply ensuring that their lands are places pleasant to live.
Culture. Ylvin is known for their rich celebration of and propagation of elf and other non-human culture. Their queen rules with compassion and is very well-received by her denizens.
Nation of Tharic
Marketplace and Trade. Tharic is one of the world’s #1 mining syndicate companies because of their location. These companies are subsidiaries of Magicorp, and all of their proceeds are transferred upwards to their executives. Tharic is a de facto colony of Valysir because of this. They do not have very many other industries, except for masonry, and they are supplemented by rudimentary assistance from Valysir.
Population Size. Tharic is a nation of roughly 700,000.
Population Density. Because of Valysir’s involvement, middle- and lower-class Tharicians are largely unable to purchase houses and instead have to live in mining syndicate housing projects for exorbitant prices. The rich are able to live in exquisite palaces.
Demonym. ‘Tharicians’
Population Demographics. Humans, half-elves, and halfings are the main races, followed by elves and dwarves, and finally anthropomorphic animals.
Government. Tharic is a democratic country, though it is basically only so in name only. Valysir has heavily-compromised this nation’s politics to the point that the people have lost control of the country.
Culture. Tharic has a convoluted, sometimes unhinged culture and relationship towards work. “Non-productive” members of their society are scorned upon, while “productive” members, who are relentlessly worked to the bone, are seen as better or superior to the others. They are a tense society under the spell of Valysir.